Tuesday 8 January 2008

'mates'

So...being a modern woman i accept my sexuality and also admit the fact that i do want 'it' a lot. Being single and unable to trust hardley anyone does seem to get in the way of things, so this little 'arrangment' i have with the 'ex' as i call him, seemed to suit. I wouldn't tell anyone (well..maybe a few people. The number does gradually increase, but only with people whom i hope i can trust) and there was no cat in hells chance that he would. I've always secretly liked him too, which was a cheeky bonus really.
What isn't is that some time into this casual secret, he decided to get a girlfriend. This wasn't great, as i found out and naturally, felt like a bad person and thought of this poor girl who was knowledgeless to what was going on behind her back. Of course all 'this' is, is a bit of how's your father whenever she isn't available to provide him with some. Girlfriend at home? DING DONG - call that lass up the street, she's game! Who cares if its half three on a monday morning, that hasn't bothered her before!
Not really bigging myself up here. Obviously i do have some form of feelings for him, its not JUST sex, well, for me anyway. I enjoy his company, think he is cute etc. but these feelings are the kind that i can control very well and don't have the potential or give me the desire for this arrangement to develop into anything more than what our friendship has become. Doesn't stop me drunk texting him though.
Why, why, why, why. Why. Barely able to sit upright on my bed, i asked "you out tonight?". Even in the drunken stupor i was in, i knew that i shouldn't show myself to be so desperate. No reply. Big surprise.
If one of us doesn't reply, there is no weird morning after text like, "oh, sorry about that, felt rather horney last night, hope i didnt awaken you!". Well, thats apart from the time i was asked to have a "bit of text sex...you know, with pictures ;)" and didn't reply. I found that the next morning the blame was quickly shifted onto a third party stealing his phone. Hmm. Questionable.
Anyway, regretting such text the day after, i was lying in bed, dreading the next day of work. I got a text. Hoping it was Anthony (yeah...right) i swiped my phone from beneath my pillow (its normal resting place at night). It was an unknown number. Shit..i had deleted the ex's number cancelling out the chance that my drunken texts would reoccur. Yes, it was him. Telling me that i seemed to have great timing with my texts...when he was in BED with his GIRLFRIEND. Ohhhh GREAT. Apparantly it "went down a treat". So i apologised and said it wuldnt happen again.
"haha, dont worry about it, she knows we're only 'mates'".
Glad to know someone finds all of this funny.
Still, i insisted this wouldn't happen again, but "no, seriously, its ok, she knows we are mates". In other words, nah, go on, DO text me, hopefully one night she'll be at home and i'll be 'locked out' again.
Just for the record, his number is STILL deleted from my phonebook.

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